Encouraging Independence
Encouraging Independence
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How to Support Your Child's Growth Without Hovering
How to Support Your Child's Growth Without Hovering
Category: Family and ParentingBy Kristina Gillmeister
As parents, we adore our children and wish only the best for them. We want them to be happy, to succeed, to become self-assured and competent adults who can turn their dreams into a reality and be happy. But in our efforts to shield and care for them in every conceivable way, we unwittingly create roadblocks that render it more challenging for them to learn to become independent as they grow. Encouraging independence in children is one of the best things that we can offer them, but it can feel difficult and even scary as a parent. How do we allow them to succeed without hovering over them?
It starts with giving them the space to make decisions for themselves, even when it's hard. Children have the opportunity to learn from both success and failure. Below are three methods for encouraging your child to be independent while still being there for them.
Let them make mistakes.
Let them make mistakes.
Let Them Make DecisionsAllowing your child to make decisions—large or small—is going to boost their confidence as well as decision-making abilities. Begin with little choices such as what clothes to wear or what they can have for lunch, and move on to bigger responsibilities. Make sure it is reasonable for their age. This will make them feel independent and learn that they have a voice.
Encourage Problem-SolvingInstead of jumping in to solve the problems for your child, teach them how to come up with solutions themselves. Ask them questions like, "What do you think you can do next?" or "What do you think would work there?" By providing them with a method to think and reason, you're teaching them resilience and problem-solving skills that they will use for the remainder of their life.
Be There When They Need YouEncouraging independence is not about stepping back completely. It is about being present when they need guidance or reassurance. Let your child know that you will always listen, support, and counsel them when they seek it, but give them space to figure things out on their own first. This builds trust and boosts their confidence.
By encouraging independence, you're teaching your child valuable lessons about life that they will never forget. It's a matter of finding the middle ground between giving them space to grow and having you to always come back to as a pillar of support. And don't worry, it's okay to let go to some degree—your child's growth and self-confidence will reward you for doing so.
Encourage Problem-SolvingInstead of jumping in to solve the problems for your child, teach them how to come up with solutions themselves. Ask them questions like, "What do you think you can do next?" or "What do you think would work there?" By providing them with a method to think and reason, you're teaching them resilience and problem-solving skills that they will use for the remainder of their life.
Be There When They Need YouEncouraging independence is not about stepping back completely. It is about being present when they need guidance or reassurance. Let your child know that you will always listen, support, and counsel them when they seek it, but give them space to figure things out on their own first. This builds trust and boosts their confidence.
By encouraging independence, you're teaching your child valuable lessons about life that they will never forget. It's a matter of finding the middle ground between giving them space to grow and having you to always come back to as a pillar of support. And don't worry, it's okay to let go to some degree—your child's growth and self-confidence will reward you for doing so.
How have you helped your kids build independence? How did you feel as a parent? Share your story!
We can help you build your parenting style to incorporate elements of independence.
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